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UnF*ck Your Money
Welcome to The Unfuck Your Money with Nadine Zumot, Certified Money Coach, Functional Somatic Practitioner, Leo Virgo Cuspie, 1/4 Mani Gen and a lot more!
The Unfuck Your Money Podcast is for coaches, practitioners, and Soul-led entreprenurs who are ready to step into their Unfuckwithable energy!
With my direct, edgy and fun approach to money, the purpose of this podcast is to help you break through your financial blocks, release unhealthy money patterns, and cultivate a sexy and secure relationship with money.
UnF*ck Your Money
End Your Year with a Bang and Wisdom from Gloria Zhang
Episode Highlights:
- What life after trauma healing (aka post-traumatic growth) looks like for myself and Gloria.
- How inner child healing helped us make some big life decisions and bold moves in 2023.
- How to move through different seasons of our life.
- We explore the notion of having multiple life purposes and how to manifest our dreams into reality.
- We dive into the transformative power of self-leadership, and the art of manifestation, and muse over the intersection of spirituality and quantum physics, pondering the societal conditioning that often keeps us from our fullest potential.
A WOMAN'S GUIDE TO INNER CHILD HEALING is out now!
and it's awesome!
Grab your copy here!
This episode wraps up 2023 with a beautiful bow. It is filled with such joy, laughter, and insightful wisdom!
Lots of love,
Nadine and Gloria
❤️
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Connect with Gloria:
Gloria Zhang (@bygloriazhang) is a quirky and relatable Inner Child & Relationship Coach based out of Canada, known for the wildly successful top-charting The Inner Child Podcast. Gloria helps High Achievers from difficult childhoods become their best selves and master the art of secure relationships.
Explore my 3 month Wealth Program MOMENTUM ⭐️ HERE ⭐️
Thank you for being here ❤️
✨If this podcast is a helpful resource for you, please share it with your friends, on social media, and leave a 5-star rating and review.
Connect with me on Instagram for free tips, inspo: https://www.instagram.com/nadinezumot/
~Podcast theme song by The Jilted Irony
Hello everyone, welcome back to the Money Healing Podcast. I'm your host, Nadine Zahmot, a holistic money coach, spiritual money mentor, manager. What else am I Virgo? No, no, no, Multinational. And with me today, just to finish off this year, I've got my friend, my mentor, my. What else my like, the person I aspire to be when I grow up, even though I'm maybe ten years older than her. Oh my god, Glorien, Glorien, Glorien, Glorien. Welcome back, welcome back, hello, hello, Welcome, welcome.
Speaker 2:Hey girl, hey girl hey girl Working working. This is recording, isn't it? Yeah, let's.
Speaker 1:It's perfect. It's the end of the year. We are all celebrating whatever we achieved or didn't achieve this year, because sometimes what we don't achieve is actually just as good, because sometimes it's in the lesson and we're just finishing off the year here together on the Money Healing Podcast and I'm so excited to have you. And just in case people don't know who you are, I bet they all do, but just give us like a little bit of a who the fuck are you?
Speaker 2:Gloria, oh my gosh. You know, even to this day I still get a little bit tongue-tied when I have to introduce myself, and I think it's because when you've done the inner child work, you don't really identify with these old identities anymore, right? So in my mind I will always be that little six-year-old, seven-year-old, weird little kid. But for everyone else here who was not inside, your mind. Exactly, I can't stop. I can't stop. Hey, sorry, every time we talk, it's just.
Speaker 2:We're like kids. But back to the podcast. A serious face for a second. Most people know me as the host from the Inner Child Podcast, which is a self-help series on Spotify and Apple. We're just reaching 2 million downloads and we're here to help people really discover who they really are through inner child healing and the search towards wholeness.
Speaker 2:And on the other side of that, I'm also a relationship coach for women, helping women find their one healthy relationship after experiencing a lot of toxic ones. Now an author as well, and a doer of many things.
Speaker 1:You are a doer of many things. I think you're a managen, aren't you? Sorry, you're a managen, aren't you? Yeah, I know, I mean, it's obvious. I know you're not that into human design, but every time you list the things, I'm like, yeah, she's done a lot of things. We're going to get into the whole book later on in this episode because I really want to dive into it. It is one of my dreams to write a book, and I heard your story of you've always known that you're an author ever since you were young, and that's something that has been with me forever as well, like ever since I was just aware. Like seven or eight, I kept telling myself to remember everything that's happening around me for my book, because my book is going to help people who are in the same pain as I am as a seven-year-old. So I know the book is coming and I'm very excited to talk about your book, which is one month old after the publishing of this podcast episode. So it gets released on the 28th of November, is that right?
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's right. 28th of November.
Speaker 1:I'm not a fangirl or anything. Girl, I am your biggest fangirl, all right, I actually am waiting for that book and, like I told you on Instagram, I'm going to be giving that book as a present for my onboarding clients, my one-on-one clients and I onboard. I like to give it a little present and I know it's going to be unless they have it already right, because they probably do.
Speaker 2:I appreciate that so much.
Speaker 1:Nadine, of course. So okay, I'm about to jump into the book, but let's just like ease into the year. We had a big year. We've both moved Really big year, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I know that you and I connected so much around the stress of just moving, right, but, as I've told you before, this is the first time as an adult that I've moved outside of my province. So in Canada we have provinces, not states. And this was the complete other side of the country, right, and I had so much resistance towards it at the very beginning, I was really excited at the same time. But it was so new for me, right, like completely uprooting from Toronto where I've basically grown up my whole life, and just flying over, plopping my feet on new earth. Right, it's all about the West Coast life. But as soon as I got here and I know you had the same experience as soon as I got off that plane and I looked around me and I saw the beautiful blue mountains and the ocean waves, I felt more at home here than I actually did back in Toronto, believe it or not? Yeah, and things have just been unfolding at like a astronomical rate here.
Speaker 2:Nadine you've seen my stories. I have so many things going on A lot going on.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I'm jealous of all these people. And it was all because of the move. It's all because of the move. I'm jealous of all these people who get to hang out with you in person.
Speaker 2:I'm like I want to be there. Hey, that's going to be us soon. I promise we're going to take a trip down in New Mexico.
Speaker 1:Yay, that's how I felt in New Mexico, like I got here and I'm like I'm home. This feels good and it's not about like one place is bad and one place is good. It's just I do believe that our soul wants us to be in a certain location at a certain time, whether it's to meet new people, whether because of the planetary alignment in that particular place, whether it's just for a lesson. But I feel like the more we heal deeply, the more we do our inner child healing and I've got PhD of inner child healing here with me on the podcast everyone, gloria Zhang the more we do that, the more we become A in touch with our intuition and B in touch with abundance, which maybe they are one of the same. So what do you think about that? Do you agree? Do you feel like? Is that something, a reality that you live as well?
Speaker 2:Abs, a freaking lute. Nadine, yeah, you took the words right out of my mouth. To me, inner child healing is really about the search for wholeness, right, because of the missing pieces of when we were a child, whether it was, you know, the four core wounds, the abandonment, neglect, trust and guilt, and what we see as mental illness. And I feel like, since I am a therapist too, I feel like I'm allowed to say this. But to me, mental illness is searching for wholeness outside of ourselves, right, whoa, yeah, yeah, trying to fill those holes through substances, through meaningless relationships, through overworking, hustle culture, all of these things that we do, right, as protection to try to fill that void inside. And inner child healing is the opposite of that. It's searching for that wholeness within ourselves, right, and reconnecting with the part of you when you were young that didn't get those needs met. So you're absolutely right, and that is the path to abundance. Right Is feeling and creating that wholeness within ourselves first.
Speaker 1:Yeah, wow, I mean what you just said. You're a poet, not just an author. That's beautiful. No, yeah, it's so pretty, Just the way you said it in your little, just your calm voice, while I'm here being crazy being all wild and excited.
Speaker 2:It's all about balance, right? I'm bubbling under the surface. I love you, Nadine. Yeah when you speak, it's like poetry to my ears too.
Speaker 1:A little bit gangster rap, but yeah.
Speaker 2:Every time I come on your show, it feels like coming back home again as well.
Speaker 1:That's so good. I love that. You know what the word home has such deliciousness in my soul. Just the word home makes my heart feel like there's caramel around it, not in a burny way, but in a really nice way.
Speaker 1:Yeah, soft and inviting belonging, because that's essentially it. You know, we move to find a new home within ourselves. It's not about the place, it's about how the place reflects parts of us to the out, to us to see Right. And what you just said was amazing. You know the poetry that you know dropped earlier. It just almost feels like inner child healing is finding and reconnecting, like you said, a reclaiming even that wholeness, because, gosh, we become so fragmented.
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely, and it really shows up, I think, in a very obvious way in relationships, right, and not just romantic, but also with people, the people around us, right, which ultimately is a reflection of that relationship with ourselves, if you really think about it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, I also feel like it. You know your relationship, your you know, the way you relate to others is also reflected in how you relate to the location that you're in, and also, yeah, and also with inanimate objects like money, for example. But for real, like me as someone that anxiously attaches to everything, if I'm not like aware, I anxiously attach towards New Mexico, sometimes I'm here, I'm not going anywhere, I'm like, oh, I hope I don't have to leave.
Speaker 2:I'm 42 year olds, I can decide where I go Places, do have energy right, and I really feel that right now.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. In your most latest episodes you have been talking a lot about something that's very near and dear to me and something that comes up a lot in my my client work and just in general Of when do you know when you're making a choice, like if you're somebody who has had things in your past that have probably made you indecisive how do you know when is the right choice? Okay, so how did we both know before our move? How did we know in our bones, in our gut, that this was the right move for us? And then, on the flip side of the question is like what if you're someone who is healing you know you are, you've gone through that really molasses, like sticky period of healing, of like oh, and then now you're like like throwing out that freeze how do you know when it's time to slow down or it's time to keep going? So yeah, you've talked a bit about that and I thought we should bring this up and have a chat and see, see where we come up to, because two brains are better than one.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, thanks, yeah, thanks for bringing that up. So I did include the topic of how to make decisions in the pot and inside the book as well, because you know these are things that should have been taught to you growing up right, having that gentle, loving guidance on making decisions and the inability to make decisions right and always kind of going back and forth between things. That is a symptom of having inner child wounds. So the exercises are sort of like a like me parenting you gently, right and into the direction. And what Nadine is alluding to is there's this concept of action versus acceptance when making a decision, and I think where people get stuck is that they think that there's an answer book somewhere that has one right decision, right, and that this is the only right decision and we can put ourselves into paralysis trying to think of all the future consequences of that action. Right.
Speaker 2:That's what perfectionism really is, and what I'm suggesting is the opposite that all of us are constantly in different seasons of our life. Sometimes we're in a season of growth and challenging ourselves and sometimes we're in a season of rest, right, where we're looking for peace and the path of least resistance and, depending on where you are currently at and the patterns that you are working on. What's right for you is very different from someone else, right? So I'll use that example of should I take a break or continue working on this project, right? Well, someone who has a pattern of overworking themselves to the point of exhaustion you're in a season of learning from that right, and that you should be taking breaks. So for that person, they're in a season of acceptance right, and accepting how they're feeling and learning to trust their bodies, versus someone else who is somebody who chronically starts things and doesn't finish them. Right, they're in a season of action because that is what their life path is working them towards and so they should continue because, in their gut, that's what they feel.
Speaker 2:Right Is the answer to kind of winning or taking away the lessons from what's being presented right now right? So I moved to Vancouver because I'm in a season of growth that's aligned with my goals right now, right, I can feel it in my system that I feel ready to expand and challenge myself. Therefore, I'm going to say yes to a lot more things in this season and take action because that's what fits with my current goals. But if I was going through grief, right, if I was going through, I don't know, resolving a medical illness or just needing a lot of rest, I might not have moved here right and my trajectory might have looked very different, because the decisions whether they're taking action or accepting what's going on it has to fit with what your current season is, and that's what that exercise was all about.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and you obviously will go way deeper in your book or just present more exercises. You nailed it you are a gentle parent. Sometimes, when I don't know how to inner parent myself, I get your voice in. Oh my god girl. I mean, we need that. We need the referee.
Speaker 2:Right, happy to be that voice for you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you're inside here sometimes and talking. I've been in both. Her very, very first iteration of Soulmate. The name of the program was Heal your Inner Child Academy.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Is that right? And then I was in your inner circle earlier this year and I'm so sad that it ended. These things need to never end. The inner circle was magic. It was so good and I have been guided, coached, mentored and gently parented by Gloria. So her book would be that, but over a whole book, and I feel like we need to talk about it. I really want to talk about your book. I'm so excited for it. I've ordered it. When was it available? In July, I ordered it in July, oh you did.
Speaker 2:I'm waiting and waiting. I didn't even know who's available, but someone messaged me and said that they pre-ordered the book and I was like what? Where?
Speaker 1:Yeah and you posted it and I was like yeah, I'm getting it. So two more weeks for me to read it, to get my little hands on it.
Speaker 2:But let's talk about it. Yeah, of course. Oh boy, where should we start From?
Speaker 1:the beginning From the day in your life, because we talk about purpose a lot on this podcast From the day of your life and actually I just want to pause here and say the analysis, paralysis or like the sickness of wanting everything to be perfect. I don't know if it's a sickness or like I say it tongue-in-cheek, but it's like this obsession with getting things perfect that can stop us from pursuing our purpose. Because for me, for years I was like what's my purpose? But there's no such thing as one purpose. There's like multiple purposes, Like purpose.
Speaker 2:I love that purpose.
Speaker 1:I. There's like multiple purpose I purposes just sounds weird, right, and one of your purpose, eyes, one of your purposes is being an author, but you knew that from a young age. So take us to that point.
Speaker 2:I still have the letter I, when I was in grade one or two, we had a substitute teacher named Miss Thackray. I still remember what she looks like and she had seen this short story that I wrote. And she wrote to me and I still have it. I got to find it. She wrote this little card, this little blue card, for me on her last day and said hey, gloria, I can't wait to read you your book one day. You're gonna be an amazing author. And I didn't even tell her that. That was something I thought about. She saw. I guess she really liked what she read and I kept that little note in my memory box, which has a lot of different treasures and gems in it, and a couple of years ago I decided you know what I feel like it's time and I don't know if we've ever talked about this, nadine, but the things that we create, I believe, have their own kind of consciousness.
Speaker 2:I feel like my podcast is its own living entity. Yeah, you're nodding. Yeah. And the book? I felt like I was just the mother giving birth to something that wanted to be here. So it felt really easy and I could feel in my womb. I suppose that there is a book in there that was ready to be created. And that was the day I changed my Instagram handle. Instead of Gloria Zhang, I changed it to Buy Gloria Zhang. Like an author, buy Gloria Zhang. And I just set it there and I knew it was going to happen. So I'm obviously really big into manifesting. I didn't contact any publishers. I just kept doing my practices and set the intention out there, and I think it was less than a year later. I received an email from this company and said hey, we're thinking of publishing a book on how to heal your inner child. Would you like to read this book? We'll pay you this much, we'll help you with this and that. And I was like let's go, girl. Mama Zhang's ready, mama Zhang.
Speaker 1:I do remember you also saying so. I've heard this story before, but it lands and rings differently when I hear it directly from you, so I'm getting goosebumps right now. But I also remember you mentioning that the publishing house was a publishing house that you came across from another random book, oh my god, yes, yes.
Speaker 2:So literally weeks earlier, right, andrew had bought me a gift and it was a book by Rick Strossman. I think it was like a guide to psychedelics or something right. And you know, these days everything is audio. Like I do, I read a lot of audiobooks. I don't really buy a lot of physical copies anymore. So he gave me that book and I read it and I put it on the shelf and after I got that email I thought that logo looks kind of familiar. And I go over to the Rick Strossman book, same publishing company. That was the book that they had just released.
Speaker 1:I need to stop. You know how sometimes we say these things that we should stop saying because we've outgrown them. Me saying synchronicity is crazy is something I need to let go of. I mean, that's like my New Year's resolution. There is nothing called. Oh, that's crazy. Synchronicity is real. It's more real than logic, right? Oh, my god, I love that story so much.
Speaker 2:So tell us about the book.
Speaker 1:But I want to know, like I always. So I know that when my time comes and I know it's not next year I maybe it's gonna be the year after. But one thing that I would love to get your opinion on is, like, once it comes, and then how do you write it Like, how do you write it Right? Like so many things and you've accomplished so much, how the fuck do you put it all in one book or an Instagram caption? I'm kidding One book.
Speaker 2:I really struggled with it, right, and I'll just be very transparent. I wish I could say, oh, I was a breeze, everything was perfect, bullshit. Writing a book is so hard, it's really really hard. It's probably the writing aspect was the least glamorous, least glamorous side of the job, for that very same reason. Right, I felt a lot of pressure to you know, this was my life's work in a single package, right, how can you like? How can you do that? Right? And so I. You know, I've booked a lot of Arabian bees and I spent time away and just really getting out of my head.
Speaker 2:But, honestly, the thing that did it for me, nadine, was remembering that I'm not the book. This book, it's a living, breathing entity and the book wants to help people. And so I just kept coming back to who needs this book, who is the person that picks this up off the shelf at the library or in a bookstore? Who is the person that really needs the medicine from this work? And I really just had to kind of remove my ego from it, like remove me from it, and I barely talk about myself in the book, like sometimes if it was relevant, but it was all about helping that person. That is just starting off right and giving them the tools so that they can have those quick wins at the beginning and snowball their progress and really help them. Honest, I know it sounds so cheesy, right, but that's really what it was.
Speaker 1:Absolutely not. I feel like sometimes well the times, every time I would have a quantum leap at work, like with my business, whether it's an income or a number of downloads from my podcast, or whenever it's, when I'm tapped into my authentic energy, meaning what we call the ego, the wounding, has tapped aside and I'm really tapped into my energy, my authentic energy, my power and the power of the mission and the movement that I'm here on this earth to lead. Once I'm tapped into, who is this for? Who wants that medicine? And when it's not about me, that is when you know you don't need anything. When you are tapped into, plugged into that juice that never runs out.
Speaker 2:Mmm, so good. Yes, exactly, yeah, the God mind right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and you know, like I love talking about what is called out there as post-traumatic growth and I guess you know are me. I don't know, I'm sure people have heard about my story on this podcast, but just in case, my family and I that consist of my husband and our little dog she's like don't talk about the plane, mommy we moved from Albuquerque to Australia and then a year later moved back from Australia to Albuquerque because it just wasn't the right place for us and we you know my husband had a fair bit of loss in his family. So the decision, the quick decision of like no, we need to move back. And then being in so much alignment so that we can create like 60, 70 grand, so that we can move cash without using the credit card, that I wouldn't have done any of that just like that solid decision, knowing what's right for me, being able to like tell everyone like this is what we're doing. It took a lot of courage, like, hey, I'm, I just got here, you're all my besties, I love you, but I'm leaving you again. Yeah, that took so much courage. And then packing again and making that money again because we had just moved. That required a lot of healing previously.
Speaker 1:Right, I really want people to understand that healing are inner child healing are wounding. It's not just about like, yeah, I healed, it's a practice. And how do we, like, keep healing as we're transitioning in life, because some transitions are positive, some transitions are educational? Let's just say, you know, challenging, and I just like not many people talk about this, I know you do, but like, how does that healing have that amazing ripple effect on every decision we make in life? How can we, amidst a transition Maybe people have children, maybe, blah, blah, blah how do we keep all of that in check within us?
Speaker 2:Ooh, such a good question. Wow, how long is this podcast? Five hours.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, keep going.
Speaker 2:I definitely agree, and I know we've we've we've chatted about this before. In modern day culture, everything is available at the swipe of a finger. Right, everything is instant gratification, and this is where a lot of spiritual bypassing can happen. Right, I think it's so tempting to just go to a three day retreat and pretend all your traumas are healed and gone forever. Right, and now you're just back to your day to day life.
Speaker 2:But what you have to understand is the traumas that you've carried from your past. It's not just a thing that happened, but it's literally shaped your personality traits, right? You know, if you grew up in a family where you weren't allowed to be angry or voice your needs, you're probably a people pleaser now and you think that that's just who you are. But it's not right. That aspect of you has been deeply shaped by the things that happened to you in your past. So you're not just going to try something one time and that's it. Right? It's exactly like you said healing in the process of healing is that's something that you do every single day? Right? It's the minute by minute choices that we make. You know, I can choose to set boundaries one time, but if the rest of the 660 days of the year. I'm not doing that, then what's really changing right? Nothing is changing, because we're learning how to operate differently in the world through all of our decisions.
Speaker 1:I want to share a personal practice of mine. Yes, so what you said it's healing is a practice that we do every minute, every choice. And for me, every time I'm encountered with a choice or I have every moment by moment make that decision, it's like I'm telling my inner child I choose you, I choose you, and I take it like an affirmation of like every choice I make, I choose you, I choose to protect you, and that really helps me feel like it's all holistic. You know it's not like I'm healing just to that blah, blah, blah. You know it's about me, it's about, it's that one thing that we do that really wholesomely fills our cup.
Speaker 2:I love that. I love that you treat your inner child like Pikachu from Pokemon. I choose you, hi. What's this like?
Speaker 1:I choose you. I think I watched the original Pokemon. Never got into it when it made a comeback, but yeah. I choose you, pikachu, I choose you, I choose you. Yeah, that's how it's not easy. It's not that easy because sometimes what you know and what you do are completely opposite, right, yeah?
Speaker 2:it's definitely. It's a work in progress, right? Some decisions are easier. Like you know, do I eat a vegetable? Today or not, and some are more harder, right, like where am I going to live, as we were talking about? Is this the right relationship for me? Is this the right career for me? Right, those are bigger decisions.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so the kicking and screaming that happened that you shared about earlier in this episode about moving from Toronto to Vancouver, tell us a little bit about how you you know handle that as the mature wife's parent.
Speaker 2:Yeah, my gosh, that was really hard, because you know how they say sometimes bad things happen in threes, right, and there was just a lot going on in general at that time, and the thing that I kept coming back to in 18 was that what I'm feeling right now, this fear and this resistance, it is allowed to be there, right, it's.
Speaker 2:You know, healing doesn't mean that we're always feeling konvaya and happy and ecstatic all the time, right, obviously, there's more room for those expansive feelings, but it also means that we're listening when things aren't feeling good, right, things are not feeling comfortable and things are feeling scary, and, of course, moving feels scary, right, like, who am I to gaslight myself into thinking that I should be handle everything as if I didn't have any emotions, right? Who am I to gaslight myself into pretending that moving isn't a big deal because it is right? And I have a nervous system and I'm stepping into a new environment and leaving my old support system, which is a big thing, and so you hold yourself and you comfort yourself, because that's exactly what you would do to a child or a friend who is going through something similar. So why would I treat myself any differently from that?
Speaker 1:That is worth thousands of dollars in therapy and coaching. What you just said, oh my god.
Speaker 2:You can have it for free.
Speaker 1:Well, everyone, you're all lucky because you heard it directly from Gloria. That's amazing and yeah, life doesn't stop right when you decide to move or like a transition is happening and then other little things are happening too and you gotta navigate all this and just I love how the approach is shame-free, right, like I used to shame myself, but what happened was most of the issue came from the shame right. As soon as we peel off that layer of shame, you're like, of course it's gonna be hard. Of course creating a podcast for the first time is hard. Of course writing a book for the first time is hard. Who to like with money too? Like, of course, starting on a money journey is hard. Like these things. You are not taught these things at school.
Speaker 2:Exactly. Yeah, no, I totally agree. It's easy to love yourself on a good day, right when everything is going right, yeah, but to me that's just the practice test. How do you treat yourself when no one's watching? How do you treat yourself when things aren't going well? That's when it really counts, right, and that's when we really challenge ourselves and see that the fear is not the problem, right, the discomfort that's not the problem. That's just part of life. The problem is how we respond to those emotions right, and how we treat ourselves for just being human.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I've got a lot. My mind went to like a lot of things. It's like you're therapizing me. It's amazing.
Speaker 2:It's the permanent therapist voice. I can't turn it off anymore. Oh a few voices.
Speaker 1:I saw a video of yours about a certain bubble tea person.
Speaker 2:Oh my god.
Speaker 1:Shall we link it.
Speaker 2:Of course, yeah, it's fun. Yeah, my past rock star life.
Speaker 1:Yeah, there is a song out there on YouTube with Gloria Rockin to a song that's called Bubble Tea Boy, right?
Speaker 2:That's right. Yeah, I used to sing in a girl rock band. We went on permanent hiatus during COVID because people moved away. But yeah, we have a song called Bubble Tea Boy. It's on YouTube. It's a lot of fun. So.
Speaker 1:I think your voice is not just therapist voice, because the first time Tommy edited an interview you and I did he's like she's a singer, isn't she? Just from the way that she controls her breathing, because for me, I'm always like taking these big gulps of air in the middle of, like you know, just talking into the mic and you're like, okay, I have to do that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there's a bit of a story behind that actually. Well, first of all, I yes, I am a very strange person. I do a lot of different things.
Speaker 1:From one strange person to another.
Speaker 2:yes, Right singing in a rock band the same time as being a therapist, but growing up I was actually. I had selective mutism when I was very young.
Speaker 2:Wow, okay, I didn't know that what that is is. It's a very there's different versions, but for me it was a very severe form of anxiety where in social settings I just I couldn't speak Right like I. The words just wouldn't come to me to the point where my teacher in grade one thought I didn't speak English and they put me in an ESL class. But I could speak English, in fact, and so you know I had a lot of anxiety growing up. Right, I couldn't speak up, my voice was very timid and frail and fragile, and you know that was something that I had spent a lot of time working on right. So in order to get over that I'm a high achiever I forced myself to work jobs where I would have to speak. I got into singing right and I learned how to use my voice as an instrument and eventually it just kind of led to podcasting and the band. So, yeah, it kind of turned my biggest insecurity into one of my strengths, I guess.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's pretty freaking impressive. Can we talk? Go back to the book. Can you tell us more?
Speaker 2:Yes, of course. Yeah, you know. So it's called a Woman's Guide to Inner Child Healing. You can find it on Amazon. I'll link it. Yeah, thank you.
Speaker 2:And one thing I've noticed is there are some other books out there on Inner Child Healing, but from what I've heard from my clients is they're just so dark and heavy, right, and really intense, and I feel like that's part of what has made mental health very inaccessible is that there's this deep seriousness to it that I think is very intimidating for somebody who has never stepped into the healing world before, right, you know.
Speaker 2:And the idea of, you know, jumping into your traumas, like replaying these painful, painful memories over and over again, you know, sitting in a strange chair in an unfamiliar room talking to someone about your biggest, deepest fears, right, and those of us that are in this world we love that stuff because we're accustomed to it, right, but it's very scary for somebody who's never dig that deep before.
Speaker 2:So I wrote the book with the intention of creating a very gentle and inviting guide to healing your inner child where, yes, we do talk about the hard stuff but at the same time there's also a lot of laughter and humor and joy and playfulness built into it, and that's one of the things I love about inner child healing is that it's not this intimidating, you know, dark, scary thing, right, but it's this beautiful balance, and that healing doesn't have to be so stair-while, all the time, right, but that there are important, light-hearted elements of reconnecting with joy, reconnecting with fun and with magic, right, and all of that is combined together. And so, to answer your question, the book is a gentle, guided journey into healing your inner child. Resolving baggage from the past right, Reparenting yourself and creating a life of magic for yourself is actually what it's all about, and it's got over 50 of my best exercises and tools and a real step-to-step by step journey for anyone who wants more in this life and wants more of that wholeness.
Speaker 1:That's my elevator pitch yeah, but see, the reason why everything you do is so like healing is because of the level of safety that you create. You know you have such a gift of creating safety and making people feel like come as you are, you're welcome. You know, I mean, I'm sure I do it in my own way, but you have your own essence and flavor to it that just relaxes. You know, and it's very clear how your one of your gifts and purpose in the world is creating safety within the person, to go within Because, like you know, even if it's through your podcast, even if it's through your book, your I guess it's your nervous system, your level of you being so calm and safe within yourself. It just reflects on the person and that gives them the ability to go inside without feeling like.
Speaker 2:Yeah, hearing that come from you just means so, so much, and I just want you to know that.
Speaker 1:Of course I mean.
Speaker 2:I've experienced it.
Speaker 1:I love you too and I have experienced it in. I mean, I saw one of the top money coaches out there and she left me hanging and that's when I knew it was inner child healing. You took me a very part, like very integral part of the way into my healing journey in back in God knows what year, years ago. But I've experienced it being not just like as someone, whatever you know, as a coach, but as one of your like students of like okay, that's how you do it, that's how you approach it.
Speaker 1:And then it's very hard for us to reparent ourselves when our parents, when we don't have a model right, like if all I knew about parenting is yelling and get up, get down, blah, blah, blah. I'm gonna talk to my inner child this way. But we have to have someone like you to give us that model so we can then, like we need to have an example, and one of your purpose is giving people. I mean purpose is sticking is to give people that tool. You know, like just you know. Am I making sense? You know what?
Speaker 2:I mean, yes, absolutely. Yeah, I feel shy. Oh, you don't, okay. Thank you, yeah, means a lot to me. I never really thought of it that way, maybe because I've never been on the receiving end, but I'm so grateful that you feel that way, Nadine. And yeah, I hope everyone who reads this does feel safe within themselves, right, and to have the courage to keep healing and that they have the ability to do hard things. I think having courage and someone lovingly encouraging you to keep going is very different from this. Like really hard, like tough love, go for it, don't give up, don't be a pussy, you know like that sort of thing. Feel the fear, right. Yeah, it's a different kind of energy and one that I myself felt like was lacking for me growing up, and so I've really tried to create that for myself and for others.
Speaker 1:Wow, what a gift. What a gift. And if you don't mind, I'm gonna change the subject a little bit, but kind of around it, I want to go about self-leadership. I'm obsessed with the concept of self-leadership. How do you, from your expertise and perspective, see how self-leadership tender, gentle, genuine, authentic, sweet, lovely, comfortable self-leadership not the feel, the fear, do it anyway. Kind of leadership like we're talking soft yet tender, yet strong leadership. How is that cultivated? Through inner child healing.
Speaker 2:Ooh, what a good question. Yeah, this could apply to so many things, right? Oh yeah, of course, self-leadership, self. I think at the core of it, it comes down to your patterns of self-talk, isn't it Like, at the end of the day, because you know and I've always said this that you are the most powerful person in your life, right? It's not the people around you, it's not this or that, right? You get to choose a lot of the things in your life, like you know, what song do I feel like singing today? Right. Or what shirt do I want to wear? Right. And starting with those moments is when you really understand the power that you truly have. I'm sure we could go down a rabbit hole with all the manifesting stuff for the simplicity of your Go wherever you want to go.
Speaker 2:Okay yeah, I mean, if you go deep in manifesting, like we do, create our own realities, right, in our own subjective realities, and when you are in self leadership, you understand your power and you really know who you are. And I think it starts with a decision right, that you are going to treat yourself the way that a loving parent would, because who wouldn't thrive? Right? I do believe that, you know, gentle is powerful, right, we say that a lot and gentle doesn't mean pandering to things. Right, it's about having firm but loving boundaries. It's about being a cheerleader instead of a dictator. Right, a loving coach versus being a tyrant towards yourself. You know, you know all this archetypal stuff.
Speaker 2:And one of my rules for myself is none of my feelings are ever wrong. None of my feelings are ever wrong, because how could this? Yeah, how could they possibly be wrong? Yeah, right, you know, sometimes maybe I misjudge a situation, but the feeling is not wrong, because there's always a reason of why I felt that way, right? So, you know, to give you an example, maybe I misheard something my partner said and I took it the wrong way and I felt sad. Well, maybe my judgment of the situation was incorrect, but the feeling wasn't wrong. I still need to soothe myself, right. I still need to say, oh, this reminded me of a time when, you know, this person made me feel small and I'm just having a reaction to that. Right, let's soothe that sadness and that's and that's it. Right.
Speaker 2:And if you can learn to accept all your feelings and not pass judgment on every little thing that comes up, then you do feel whole, because it means that everything that you feel and experience is welcomed. Right, and then there's no, there's no war anymore. Yeah, right, you can just be yourself. You don't have to constantly fight yourself. And that's where you can have self leadership. You're not constantly reacting to your own reactions. Right, because if you're on, if you're constantly in reaction, it means that you don't have a self will. You don't have, you don't have control over yourself. Right, but if you can accept things and see them for what they are, then you're actually in control, right.
Speaker 2:And you can you can lead the way to wherever you want to go yeah, it's like being in the way versus surfing the wave ooh right.
Speaker 1:I like that. It's like you're inside it, just like going headbutting the waves versus you're on the waves, riding the waves. They take you but you're the one in charge of how you carry yourself exactly. And I love that because when we don't shun our emotions, we don't have a backlog of shadows in the closet that all of a sudden just spill out and take over. Because my perspective, my personal experience, is when we are out of self leadership, that is when our like shadow part, our wounding, is actually taking the lead. It's not like from our wise current day us. You know, it's like this younger part and in my programs we we ask who is my financial manager? You know how old is my financial manager? Because sometimes people are operating from you know all their finances from their seven-year-old yeah, yeah, yeah, the parts are so important so Gloria and I just realized that we have the same lamps in our offices.
Speaker 1:So that's we kind of drifted off. So I don't know where we we stopped there, but where we decided to take. This conversation is into further chatting about like growth and resilience and manifestation and you know what, all the juicy stuff. Right, like you, you know we talked about how healing can be beautiful. It's an act of reclamation, act of like self-liberation. But let's, you know, both of us are in this like yummy part of life, like when the arrow, sometimes the arrow is held back. We're in that momentum, the forward facing momentum.
Speaker 2:Tell us about that stuff, mmm yum yeah, well, it's very interesting because before I got on the call with you, I actually ran like a introduction to manifesting workshop for my soul, my clients, and which is it's not related to our program, right, which is about relationships, but it was something that everyone kept asking about. So I said, screw it, I'm just gonna go ahead with it. And one of the things that I've been, you know, in my own spiritual practice, right is is kind of combining, you know, like quantum physics and reality and stuff with with spiritual work. And a lot of people don't know this, but the CIA has released lots of documents over the last few decades basically explaining that they have found that manifesting is real and that we live in a holographic universe and that we're not alone, guys, yeah, right, and I talked about this a little bit with my clients and you know there's always the question of whoa like? You can Google this and it shows up. It's literally on the CIA website.
Speaker 2:Why isn't it on the news, right? Why isn't anyone talking about it? And my answer to that is, you know, not to get too conspiracy theorist, but I think it's just a fact that, well, look at what is on the news, right, like people care more about the Kardashians. You know people care more about buying Adidas shoes and you know the stuff that we're fed in on TV and the news. Right, it's. It's not that this information is not available, but we're not programmed to to receive it and we're constantly in a state of survival and distraction. Right, and I don't think it's it's a conspiracy theory to say that, because, like, look around you, look on your phone, that's all it is.
Speaker 1:Yeah yeah, we also not just that, but we are conditioned to resist this information. Yeah, we're conditioned to accept that life is difficult. That's like the fact of life. And when things are easy, you know, especially when you're in the manifestation world, you know when you're practicing manifestation and you actually manifest what it is, you're like not too easy you know, like a client of mine manifested 50 grand and she's like what did?
Speaker 2:I do.
Speaker 1:Yeah, she's like what do I do? It was too easy. It was like what do you mean? It's been too easy. You've been working with me for two years. You've been doing the really hard work, the healing work You've been leading yourself. You've been coming to every single community call that we have. Where exactly do you think this is easy? This is just the byproduct of the work. It should be easy, exactly. And it's like, oh, wow.
Speaker 1:Because sometimes, when things come easy, especially when it's like, oh, we can go there, when it's a relationship, money, whatever, we tend to poo poo it or take it for granted or our scarcity kicks in and we just sabotage it. So, like me in 2016, I knew, I knew, I knew that I had to be in New Orleans in April because something was going to happen. I knew, I knew, I knew OK, ok, ok, I'm going. That's the OK. Ok was me between me, my intuition, my guides, like that was like that, it's a monologue, but it was between three people all right Inside of me, and Tommy happened and I was married within two weeks. But, yeah, at the time I was like, yeah, it's the horse story. So at the time I was like too easy, there must be something wrong. And then I was like how is this too easy? I've been doing work on myself, I've been doing work on my relationship with myself for the past five years since my divorce. This is not easy actually, but in saying that it doesn't mean that everything is earned right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, totally. I mean, just look at nature. Right, nature is naturally abundant. A tree doesn't have to do anything, but every single year it grows all these beautiful leaves and colors, right, yeah, and I think I'm curious to hear what your thoughts are on what are the forces behind this. But I think, if you look at the educational system, the conditioning starts very, very young. Right, there's a huge emphasis on developing the left brain hemisphere, which is all about logic, right, and I mean critical thinking is very important. But there's also the intuitive side, which I mean did you ever learn about that in school? Because I sure didn't.
Speaker 1:No, it was my survival mechanism was intuition, but no, I was told to not listen to it.
Speaker 2:Exactly right, and it's just. I can't even believe that we have to talk about this right. Like, how isn't that so bizarre? And that creative, intuitive side is the right side of the brain, right? And that's half of who we are, you know, right? Yeah, yeah, like when I was in school, we had this amazing drama and arts program. When I entered and by the time I graduated, that program was gone right.
Speaker 1:No way they got rid of it, oh my god, OK.
Speaker 2:Wanted more of the logical stuff like STEM, STEM, which is important, it is very important, but where's the balance in all of that? Right?
Speaker 1:Whoa. So I have three hours of stuff to say about this. First of all, tell me, from the money perspective, ok, a lot, a lot. A lot of my clients have overspending, emotional spending issues because of a lack of consideration to their natural intuitive talents. Their parents forced them into STEM, into more right brain, right brain, left brain, whatever, like the logical, critical thinking, a kind of direction in life, and they grew up forcing themselves to go to uni, forcing themselves to go to a job they hate. So what do they do with all the money? They overspend it in reckless, unintentional ways. So money healing becomes going back to your inclinations as a child and honoring these, and that fulfillment happens from the inside. It doesn't matter what you buy after that, because you're no longer buying from hunger and unfulfillment.
Speaker 2:Yes, so good. That's a perfect example to tie it in, and how deep those layers go right.
Speaker 1:Very deep.
Speaker 2:And how you go really deep with your clients.
Speaker 1:I do, and here's the answer that I have my perspective on why the emphasis is on that side of the brain, the logical side of the brain. It's because it's easier to control, not from a manipulation but from like a like maintaining the energy or controlling a crowd of people when they are programmed to do what they're told Right. So when we are more emphasized on the logic and the direction and do this, not that we're way easy to be controlled, then if we are all listening to our intuition and doing what's right for us because as a teacher that's hard to control, right? And what happens then is that we are then conditioned to look outside of ourselves for approval, for validation, for love, for appreciation your teacher, your parents, your condition to be like oh, my teacher gave me this. Oh, my father said I'm good. And how does that translate when we're adults? How does that translate from your perspective as a relationship coach? What does that pattern? Birth in adulthood as we are looking for a life partner?
Speaker 2:Oh, my goodness, Girl, you're speaking my language. There's so much I could say about this, right, because, as we know, within our child work and all of this trauma talk, those patterns don't just go away as soon as you turn 18, right, when you turn 18, you become a legal adult, but you continue carrying those patterns, looking for approval, right? Whatever role you've always played in the past, whether it's being the caregiver or the good girl or the goody two shoes, we continue carrying that into our future relationships and absolutely in romantic relationships. That's sort of my specialty. But if we go even bigger, beyond that, look at the media that we're exposed to.
Speaker 2:You know how government campaigns, the way they work is. If they want to create outrage in the public, they just send the news outlets a bunch of money and say go, create a story that's going to rile people up, and that's how it works. Right, it's not a secret, you can't Google it. We are conditioned to respond to stimulus, right, and to get outraged at random things. Some Justin Bieber said this to this person. Now, everyone's upset about it, right, but we have been conditioned to be this way since we were very, very, very little, from kindergarten and grade one, when, if you spoke out of line, you get a gold star taken away from you, right, speaking of scarcity.
Speaker 1:how did our collective scarcity wound developed, I wonder?
Speaker 2:There you go, right, yeah, and this type of control is so subtle? Right, but it's built into every layer of our society, right From the educational system, from the social services system to the TV and the news, and it's just everywhere. Right, but when you heal yourself, it's more about undoing things rather than doing things. Right. You're peeling back the layers of conditioning and you get to have more control over who you really are, right, and not what everyone else tells you to be or says that you are.
Speaker 1:Or expects you to be. Oh, you're 40s, it's time to have children or buy a house. It's not right. It's not the right time to move. Blah, blah, blah. The healing is really helpful in getting in touch with your intuition, but also knowing who's loving advice you take and who's loving advice you don't. You leave right and in the world of self-help is an explosion of self-help. We went from nothing to all the podcasts, the books, the coaches the Instagram, all of that.
Speaker 1:That actually is very important for you to be discerning who gets to speak into your life. Even when you work with a coach, mentor, therapist, counselor, what they say is not set in stone right. When we are conditioned to look outside of ourselves for validation and approval, we take everything too seriously. Oh my therapist said. Oh my coach said I always say you are your own guru, you are your own leader, I'm just here to guide, but you tell me what's right for you and we'll go there.
Speaker 2:So true, right. Yeah, I completely agree. I think a mentor doesn't make your decisions for you, right? They help you make the right decision for yourself.
Speaker 1:Beautifully said. I always say if someone says that the answer is with them, run. The answer is in you. Hire the person that helps you, go within and remove those layers that you just mentioned. Just reclaim who you are and yeah, I mean gosh, yeah, the system from the beginning. Like in general, these things are the shame. First of all, we talked about shame how a lot of times the big burden that we have when we are going through a challenge is the shame that we first have it or going through it, and the shame of maybe needing to reach out for help. So many people have dug themselves into a lot of debt just because they had that shame of I should know how to, I should have known better, or I should know how to do this on my own or figure this out on my own.
Speaker 2:Yeah, If shaming yourself works right, then I think all of us would be perfect, right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, and that universal layer of looking outside of you for approval, that's costing us a lot of not just money, but a lot of time in agony, exactly yeah.
Speaker 2:Well, it's a lot deeper than I thought it would. I hope that's OK.
Speaker 1:Oh, I think we should just go deeper and deeper and deeper and deeper every time we decide to record and publish our conversations, because I think that people enjoy our energy together, because it's such a complementary energy and we have the same values, but also because it just feels like they're sitting on and like Aves dropping over a really intimate conversation between, like very like-minded friends. You know, and I always get such compliments yeah, we are, and I get such compliments on that. I have a friend that just I love you and Gloria's energy together. It's amazing.
Speaker 2:That's the power of the GLONADS.
Speaker 1:All right everyone. Thank you so much, Gloria, for coming back on the Money Healing podcast. We love having you here. I love having you here. I mean, I could just sit and talk to you for hours, which we will one day in person, but until then, thanks for coming back on any parting words to our listeners for today.
Speaker 2:Oh, nadine, you know it's always a treat for me to connect with you and talk to you, and you, likewise, have always been this powerhouse in your industry and I'm just so proud of you and always here to support you. So thank you for having me on the show again.
Speaker 1:You're so welcome. All right, everyone Take care. And, oh, happy new year. Be safe out there. Happy new year, yeah, I'll see you all back here in January. Don't forget to buy Gloria's book for yourself, your loved ones, to start off 2024 with a bang, a gentle bang, a loving gentle bang by Gloria Zang.
Speaker 2:Thank you. Yeah, it makes a perfect holiday gift and it's just called a Woman's Guide to Inner Child Healing. I hope you love it All right, everyone.
Speaker 1:Bye for now.
Speaker 2:Bye.
