The Money Healing Podcast

#40: Do it 'cos Your Inner Child Deserves it!

October 26, 2023 Nadine Zumot Season 1 Episode 40
The Money Healing Podcast
#40: Do it 'cos Your Inner Child Deserves it!
Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

While teaching workshops and doing guest slots in other podcasts, I always get asked: What made you specialize in Money Healing out of all the many things I could have specialized in...

My short answer: Frustration.

My long answer: Financial and manifestation programs were not designed for people who have deep and stubborn beliefs about themselves that stem from childhood.

If that's you, then hi! Me too!

So I begin this episode by giving you the long answer to that question, then we dive into different parts of money wounds and why people self-sabotage when it comes to their finances, and how you DEFINITELY need a money plan that works around your money wounds so you can start seeing RESULTSsss

Of course, throughout the episode,  you will hear me obsess over CFA which will be opening up for enrolment in a few weeks (squee!!)

If you are interested in joining at the early birdie pricing, jump on it! Join Create Fulfilling Abundance here!

❤️ Love you lots!

If this podcast is a helpful resource for you, please share it with your friends, on social media, and leave a 5-star rating and review.

Create Fulfilling Abundance is now open for 2024 enrolment!
~Learn more and apply to join CFA here!

Join us for our monthly Money Healing Workshops:

Click here to learn more and join!

💝 To receive your FREE Money Archetype Workbook, complete this form

Thank you for being here ❤️

Connect with me on Instagram for free tips, inspo:

~Podcast theme song by
The Jilted Irony

Speaker 1:

Hey, hey, welcome back to the money healing podcast. I'm coming at you wearing my Halloween costume, my jammies. I'm definitely feeling the weather change here. We're currently moving into autumn and it's just been really nice and crisp in the mornings and honestly, like not just are we moving into a different season, but I am also feeling the weight of our two big cross-continental moves, like it ain't no thing, huh. For those of you who are new to the show or new to my world, first of all, welcome, I'm so glad that you're here. And, second of all, my little family and I we moved from Albuquerque to Melbourne, australia, in 2021 and then we moved back from Melbourne back to Albuquerque in 2023 earlier this year. So they were two very stressful events and currently I feel like my body's feeling you know, feeling them right now, so feeling the urge to wind down. For the year I've been doing some work on my program, cfa Create, fulfilling Abundance, which is my six month program. I moved it to an app, which is so cool. I am very excited for the next round. Doors will open soon for enrollment and there is a big early birdie discount for the first three people who enroll. So check out the waitlist and learn more in the show notes. Another thing I wanted to say is that podcast episodes might be a little bit here and there due to my decision to go slow for the next couple of months and focus on building CFA and just like revamping the branding and doing some adjustments according to the feedback of the previous cohort and also focusing on my current one-on-one clients and, honestly, like this feels like a bold and very abundant decision to go slow. I am not the type of person that goes slow. This is very off-brand for me but it really does feel abundant to go slow at the moment and I wouldn't have been able to feel comfortable about it had I still had my money wounds that subscribed me to my ScareCity mindset, no matter how much I was actually making. Because, it's true, money can stop us from making these juicy, abundant decisions. And then and just going for it in life. I just want to go for it. That's what I keep hearing my clients say before our work starts together. I just want to go for it. I just want to say yes to the things that light me up, without feeling like I need to take permission from daddy, from money. They want to at least go to a restaurant and order what they want, versus look at the price and order from there, from a place of alignment, not from a place of that manic energy of like fuck it, yolo. Sometimes it's no shame, right. Our fear of money can keep us stuck in jobs we don't like. It can make us give loose ass payment plans that put us in debt. It can make us afraid to raise our prices or say no to clients or place clients on a wait list when we are at full capacity, right? So sometimes it's the fear that the fear itself, that makes money slip right through our fingertips. A lot of times, like we are overworked and even though we are making more money because we're overworked, due to this overwork we lack energy, we lack that zest for life, we lack that having that patience to cook, for example, at night. So even though you're making more money, all the money is going towards takeout and ordering in and going out and doing these things that don't even make you happy, right? So sometimes we need to put, we need to draw the line and say, no, this is how much capacity I have and I need a break, because I mean, I'm sure you know this but if you don't give your body the break that it's craving, it will scream Right. It will put you on break, whether you like it or not. So right now, I am very feeling very abundant to be able to listen to my body and actually take a break and tinker around and build CFA like it's never been before, so I'm so freaking excited about this. Here's the other side of the money coin, though. See what I did there. What can block you from the abundance that you seek can be the actual tool that will facilitate the life of your dreams, because we don't have to wrangle money into submission so that we're good with money. Being good with money doesn't mean frugal. This is 2008. This is not 2008. Sorry, being good with money is no longer about being frugal, because this is 2023 and we are ready to change the world. We are a part of a bigger movement that is changing the financial dynamic in our world. This world, and the whole, like money story of our collective, will transform when more money goes into the hands of people like you, of healers like you. Healers that want to elevate themselves and elevate others, that want to give, that want to want people to heal and grow, just like you. And yesterday was a big freaking day. Oh my god. I don't know what happened, but like everything just coincided, on the same day I taught two workshops inside the Artful Dollar community, which is my friend Ryan Roy's financial coaching community for tattoo artists, and I go there once a month and I teach a couple of workshops on money, money healing, money in the nervous system. All of that and then I recorded two podcast episodes. So I was asked a lot of questions yesterday, but one of the questions that I was asked was how did I get into this type of work? And the answer came like a reflex. It was like oh my god, I came into this type of work because of frustration, because I remember back when I was doing everything I can as a new business owner, back in the day, when I was like brand new to all of this, I was so hungry to make an impact and I really like I still do, I still want to make an impact and I still want to change the world. But at the time I knew that money was holding me back and I was so desperate to heal my money wounds and nothing, nothing helped me. The stuff I found, even from the most renowned money manifestation or like financial programs or whatever. They barely scratched the surface for me. Because these teachings they teach us how to like Further oppress our wounding, and that never sat right with me. And they just teach us to, you know, change our beliefs. And that just did not sit with right with me either. And I remember, after a particularly Famous manifestation program, I felt so fucking empty. I just felt so frustrated. I felt like no matter how much money I spend or how much time and energy I spend, nothing worked for me. I tried everything and I was just like going through this little tantrum until I was like what does my body think? You know, what if I listen to my body? My body has always. Or my intuition, because the intuition is in the body. What if I listen to my intuition? What would that say? And the funny thing at the time is that the answer came in the voice of my four-year-old Like not my child, I don't have children but like my inner Four-year-old child, and it just said what about me? And that's when I knew that I Was coming at this whole money thing from the wrong angle. We needed an approach that prioritizes healing so that we can manifest from wholeness, not from woundedness, and I remember at the time reaching out to my friend, gloria Zhang, who has the inner child podcast, and I was like Gloria, it all has to do with the inner child. She goes what do you mean? I'm like money, money has to do with your inner child. She goes I don't know what you're talking about. And I like left her a long ass, like three voice notes, explaining my, my discovery with her, and she goes holy shit, you're right, let's jump on a, an Instagram live. So we did. And then she was like Nadine, we need to. We need something bigger than that. We need to talk about this on my podcast. So I did, you know, and it's, it really is linked to our inner child, and I became better at money. The moment I came to the realization that my financial Well-being all had to do with my inner child, when I listened to the voice inside of me that was screaming that night, that Said all you need to do, you know, like all these programs were saying all you need to do is override these limiting beliefs and limiting voices and change your beliefs, and that inner child was like what about me? And that's where I had to go. That was the part of me that needed attention. That was the driving force behind my unreasonable and illogical money behaviors and patterns. Because at the time I am spending money that was outside of my bills felt like death, even sometimes spending money on a water bill or electricity bill or like even oh my god, I used to be a nightmare at the grocery store who, and you know when, when I would watch that Cart, the shopping cart, pile up. I Just turn into this like really anxious child and the narrative in my brain is like doom and freaking gloom. Right, so that's where I had to go. That was my four-year-old, was my financial Advisor at the time. She was the one driving the, the, the whole like financial Dynamic in my life and I was what what's? A few years ago, like I was in my late 30s. That was not logical, but that's what happened. When we have unresolved wounding that links us, like when we have unresolved wounds that connect money to our sense of worth and belonging and security, this is what happens. Okay, so in these programs, in these like really famous manifestation programs or whatever you know, anything that tells you that the present moment is all there is. I Agree to that as a matter of concept, but the thing is my nervous system had to be had to do a lot of healing to understand that, that the present moment is actually safe, because a big part of me was still stuck in a paradigm and a life that the the present moment. I can be whacked any minute, right Like I was so hyper vigilant in my childhood home that the present was unsafe, I had to be very like, oh my god, on guard all the time. So when somebody that doesn't know me and doesn't know my freaking history tells like, tells me oh, you know, every time your mind goes to the past you are not present and you are not awakened, blah, blah, blah and all that shame talk that made me feel so freaking, unworthy and small. Because, yeah, at the time my nervous system did not Feel like the present moment was actually safe. After doing a lot of healing work, that's where I'm at right now. You know, now the present moment is safe, I no longer have to be just like going left and right towards the present and the pot and the future in the past. So, yeah, that's that it needed a lot of work to get at least to this peaceful, peaceful stage where the present is safe to be in and then they teach that you are inherently worthy. Yeah, but what if worthy? What if being worthy is a scary concept and a scary state of being that feels so foreign to us and our inner child that that does not even feel good. To be worthy, right, like we know cognitively that we are inherently worthy, but when you are fed as a child through direct and indirect messages that you are not worthy, that Some people deserve more than you do, of course that statement is not gonna land unless you do healing. Right, the things that I teach like that's probably the long answer to the question of what brought me to this work, because the things that I teach, they're not learned from a textbook. They were learned from my own healing journey. I love researching, I love learning and Once I went down the rabbit hole hole of inner child healing, all this nervous system stuff, the trauma stuff, all of that came, came out for me and it all made sense and that's how I created a very unique approach to money healing. Okay, so I always teach what has worked for me in my healing journey, in my long history of feeling unworthy Since the day I was born. Unfortunately, that's my story, right, when we grow up in shitty circumstances, and especially when we grow up in what seem to be Normal or even affluent circumstances, but we are raised by Emotionally immature, human parents and teachers. We will grow up with the belief that money is tied with our worth and security. So what happens when we're adults? We compulsively hoard it or we compulsively spend it, or we avoid it altogether, or we cycle through all the above. Money is tied in with worth, acceptance, success and security and belonging to most of us. But if this connection activates your nervous system into a fight or flight or shutdown response, if money makes you feel like you are this overwhelmed six-year-old where in reality you're actually a six-figure 45-year-old badass who has done a lot in her life but just feels stuck and small with this money thing, then it is safe to say that you have a money wound, and all that means is that you need to do some healing work first and then create a financial strategy that is not traumatizing to your system, which comes after the healing. Money wounds are unprocessed emotional injuries from our past that can create unhealthy money beliefs and behaviors that stop you from actualizing your dreams and desires. That is my personal definition of what a money wound is. You can have money wounds whether you do or do not have money, whether you grow up rich or poor. Money wounds do not discriminate. They stem from your childhood. They belong to a very burdened inner child that believes that the weight of the world balances on her shoulders. Your money wounds require all the fricking, gentleness and compassion to heal. They will not heal through budgets and just changing your mindset. Okay, I call these band-aid solutions. You can go and download all the mantras and all the budgets you can find, but they won't change your relationship to money. You will fall off the wagon within 90 days, guaranteed. That is the guarantee that I would give you for these template things. Your money plan needs to come from within you. It comes from the inside out, not from the outside in. I have been saying this for four years your money plan needs to come from the inside out, not the outside in. And don't get me wrong I am not anti-budget. I am a very organized Virgo. I don't believe in budgets, though, because personally, when I used to be on a budget, that re-traumatized me, some people go very well. They work very well with budgets. What I think is that what I believe and what I've seen is that your money plan. It needs to bear in mind that you have money wounds, regardless of how big or small they are. So I need to be clear that what this means is you design, or you get someone to help you to design, your money plan around your wounds until your wounds are healed and hey, there's no such thing as 100% healed. We are always healing. The healing that is required to hold in 10K is going to be very different than the healing that is going to be required for you to hold in 100K, for example. It's the same technique, it's the same principles, but we need to go a little bit deeper to create bigger impact in our lives. So these wounds have been decadent in the making and they will take time to mend, and we can't keep falling off the money plan bandwagon every time. So that's why we need to design one that bears it in mind. And this is why CFA, the program I've been bragging about for hours, is six months long. It started off being three months and then I extended it to four months and then I vowed never to have it for less than six months. So there you go, and sometimes, when you enforce a budget, your inner child might rebel, causing you to create more financial damage, and that is where you will end up worse off than where you started. That is the cost of downloading a budget, or like taking a budget or like this formula that worked for someone that maybe won't work with you, because you have unique wounding and unique you're unique, regardless of your wounds. You have unique values. You have a unique lifestyle, so sometimes these things will create more damage than good. So understanding your wound will actually help you understand your patterns, and understanding your patterns and where they come from will help you resolve these patterns and break them with gentleness and kindness in a holistic way. Once you start breaking these patterns and once you start replacing them with patterns that are more aligned with the vision and the desires that you want for your life, then you can start building a financial plan that helps with your wounds. Because these wounds we keep saying wounds, but I feel like it gives them a negative connotation because, yes, there is wounding and yes, these wounds will create some maybe illogical behaviors and beliefs with your finances, but they are well intended. They happened at a time where you needed protection. So when you act from wounding like, for example, for me, acting from wounding looked like I don't spend money on myself. If I want something, I would rather save the money than spend it, which really, really negatively impacted my life. That is a protective mechanism from my four-year-old inner child that believed that being secure meant having money, because that's what daddy said right. So we cannot banish our wounds. We need to look at them with compassion and we need to heal them. We don't just like say, oh, I'm going to override you. We need to understand them. We need to work with them and around them until they loosen their grasp, because it's like a tantrum, like an inner child within you is throwing a tantrum, and that's where you're acting from and that's how you create expansiveness with your money instead of restriction. This is how you allow your relationship with money to shift from money the oppressor to money the freedom facilitator. Okay, because freedom comes from within. It doesn't come from money. With all my clients, the common threat that I see is they all crave freedom. They're craving expansiveness and abundance that comes from freedom, and we grew up with such mixed messages around money and rich people. Money is evil, rich people are greedy. We demonize money, but yet we want it so badly. And this all puts money on a pedestal. Money, by nature, is a neutral energy and resource, but what if money can be used as an energy or a tool that helps you manifest your life purpose? And yes, I am sure, if you've heard me before, I do believe that we are all here for a purpose and on purpose. So what if money can be a tool that can be used to serve and elevate and help humanity? And one of the things that will really help you hone into is it hone or home, one of the tools that will really help you hone into your money beliefs and patterns, because sometimes you know you're like I don't have a positive money mindset. What does that mean? What does that mean? What are the particular patterns and the beliefs that are holding you back? So doing the Money Archetype quiz on my website is very, very awesome. This was created by my badass mentor, deborah Price, from the Money Coaching Institute, and there are eight archetypes. These archetypes exist within all of us, and that's not just me, that's Deborah. She has been in the financial industry for way longer than I've been alive, right. So she has summarized our money beliefs and behaviors into these eight archetypes the innocent, the victim, the warrior, the martyr, creative artist, the fool, the tyrant and the magician so say you are this kickass powerhouse and you are accomplishing all your goals and you're finally making enough money to support the life of your dreams and then some. However, you don't have anything to show for it. You didn't increase your assets, you didn't increase your savings, your investments are still the same. So, in other words, money is slipping through your fingertips. So this emotional spending, for example, this is actually a symptom of the money wounds that I was mentioning earlier on in the episode. The symptom of being unable to keep that money or unable to grow that money or do something productive with it, is a symptom of a money wound, and actually it's the most common symptom of money wounds that I see out there. It can look the same for lots of people on the outside, like overspending, unable to hold on to it, not being able to accumulate savings. But once I take a look at your archetypes, I will be able to tell you the inside story, the point of origin of that belief that manifests itself as this inability to save. So let's say I get four different people that come to me for this exact symptom of not being able to save. So let me just give it to you straight the point of origin for all these four people is always their inner child. It always, always boils down to that, because our beliefs around money always originate from the ages of two and 12, when our subconscious was being formed. So say that you are client A, who is, as a child, your mother had to work very long hours to keep the lights on. Okay, so no blame on mom here. But you might grow up associating being successful at work and making good money, or making money at all, as abandonment to your inner child. Okay, say you're client number two, where you make enough money but you're not saving it. So, for example, if making money means that you know, say that you're a coach and you need to market yourself. If your inner child feels unsafe to be seen and making lots of money and marketing yourself. Or like you know you, when people hear about your services through marketing, that's when they work with you, right? So being the center of attention means that it's unsafe. So you will unconsciously self-sabotage. And here's another sneaky reason why we made sabotage financial success. It is pretty nuanced and a little bit twisted. So it's because sometimes we want something for the wrong reason, okay, what that means and I used to do that a lot as a teenager. In this concept, I've actually learned from my mother. Hey, mom, when you want to manifest something from a place of like not wanting to feel bad, or like from a wounded part, we will self-sabotage, okay. So if I want to manifest a big Instagram following just so that I don't feel like I used to feel in high school, for example, that is not a pure intention. That is an intention that is there for me to avoid feeling something, okay. If I want to manifest a big Instagram following just because I have such a beautiful message and a movement which I do and I want more people to hear it. See, it's the same result, but different intention. That, for example, is a more holistic and more yummy intention. That comes from my magician archetype, for example. So if you want something for the reason of proving yourself to others, if you want something because you want to prove to your you want to prove your parents wrong, or you want to prove something to yourself, or prove something to your neighbors or your high school friends, even though you don't talk to them anymore, right? Or you want to prove something to the Joneses, or your boyfriend or your girlfriend or whatever, it will backfire because you're doing it in an attempt to suppress the inner child's need to be heard, so it's not going to feel safe in this whole manifestation process. And second of all, your magician archetype. So the magician archetype is the part of you that is connected to your higher self. That part of you is going to be like no, because we're not going to do this unless we're not going to do anything, unless it's in service of your higher purpose and the higher good. There are a multitude of reasons why we may self-sabotage wealth, but these are the most common ones that I actually see. Because sometimes, if let's say we want to save $10,000 in an emergency fund, it sounds good. It sounds good to me, it sounds good to you, I think it's a great idea. But if there's a part of you, especially a younger part, that feels unworthy and unsafe for some reason to have these $10,000, it will get sabotaged. It will and even though that's what we want, on a conscious level your subconscious will believe, because the beliefs of your subconscious are subjective. So if it believes that you are unworthy of it or it's unsafe to have it, you're going to keep hitting $9,900 and something will always happen and you will end up spending it. So that's when we go to the root. And the root is not no, I am unworthy, yes, I am worthy. Like we don't just change the beliefs, we need to change our relationship to the core. Wounding that resulted in that belief that you are unworthy or unsafe to have the 10K. I do apologize for this. The doorbell rang and RB rang too, so I'm on a role here, so I'm going to keep going. So the real why behind your goals it depends on you, it depends on your money story and when we're working together with my students, we can find that certain non-money related events are actually the basis of their money beliefs. Because remember, like between the ages of two and 12, your brain is not fully developed, your nervous system is not fully developed yet and your level of maturity and resources are not developed. So you might internalize really benign situations as not benign, as not great, and that might feed your beliefs about yourself and that will trickle into your beliefs about money. So to heal this, we need to actually see what it is we have to heal. We got to see what we're trying to heal first. Deborah Price always says oh, what did she say? If you can't see it, how can you heal it? Exactly, deborah, she's the best. So that is why I love, love, love, love, love, love archetypes, because every financial belief and behavior can be found within these eight archetypes. No-transcript, it's not like you're one archetype or the other, it's usually what combination of archetypes and what percentage of archetypes do you have? So, no matter what your background is, your financial patterns can always be boiled down into these eight money archetypes. And using archetypes, really, I feel like it humanizes these behaviors and with time you will be able to see the good intention of each archetype, even if you would consider it as self-sabotage. Okay. So when we consider something as self-sabotage, we blame and shame. That's not a really good or conducive environment for healing. But once we humanize these archetypes and see what their real intentions are because, again, if we all have these eight archetypes within us, then we all have the eight protective intentions behind these archetypes. So that is the key to healing from the root. So if you wanna heal your money wounds, a really good place to start is with these eight money archetypes. Go to the quiz on my website or find the link to the quiz in my show notes and then there is a workbook that you can download for free in the show notes and that will help you work further with the archetypes and tell you what each description of the archetypes are, and I'm gonna give you some journaling prompts in that workbook as well. You can also book a free call with me. It is a 30-minute money archetype strategy session. There is no catch, it's a free call. I only offer two or three of those per month. That's like my public service, and I really offer these because I see people are stuck and they might be stuck in for years in therapy or working with other coaches and they don't know they're fumbling in the dark, they don't know what the hell is going on with their money stuff and within the space of 30 minutes I'll be able to tell them what's actually going on and give them a really good strategy of how to stop these archetypes from coming in between you and your financial goals, because your financial goals are definitely linked to your yummy dreams and desires. So yeah, jump on, take advantage of them to a month. If you can't find a spot, email me or try again the month after that. But if you email me I can pop you on a wait list. So anyway, before I wrap up, I do want to say that sometimes, most of the time we have a lot of shame around asking for help when it comes to our relationship with money, and I openly talk about my money wounds, because the first step to dissolving shame is actually shedding light on what it is that we're ashamed of. Okay, there is no shame that you have money wounds. There is no shame for reaching out to someone like me to help you. Okay, because that is actually power, to be honest. Okay, if had I not reached out to someone, I would not have been able to change my life and, in turn, change the lives of 100 and whatever clients that I have served for the past, in the past few years. Okay, remember, you are not alone. There is nothing to be ashamed of and you are not reaching out because you're bad with money. You are reaching out because you care about yourself, you care about your legacy and you care about the world. That was a long one. Love you and leave you. If you have any questions about CFA create fulfilling abundance, just reach out to me. We can have a chat about it. I can answer your questions. If you have any questions about anything I shared in this podcast episode, feel free to reach out to me. You know where to find me. I am quite active on Instagram, even though sometimes I don't post because I don't feel like it, but you can definitely reach me there via DMs. My handle is Nadine Zomot. It is in the show notes. I wish you have a beautiful day and a beautiful fall, a beautiful Halloween. If your Halloween costume is a pajama, cheers you're just like me. I'll see you next time. Bye for now.

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