The Money Healing Podcast

#34: A Masterclass on Dissolving Financial Fear

September 16, 2023 Nadine Zumot Season 1 Episode 34
The Money Healing Podcast
#34: A Masterclass on Dissolving Financial Fear
Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

Have you ever felt crippled by the fear and anxiety surrounding money? 

What if there was a way to transform this fear into a healing journey? 

This week's episode is a mini- masterclass. 

I will be guiding you through a process that will help you with any fear, stress and anxiety you may be feeling about your finances. 

Together, we'll unravel the complexities of how financial fears can impact various aspects of life, from creativity and problem-solving to setting healthy boundaries, and even your physical well-being! 

And how your Money Wounds can manifest as low self-worth which can impact your income and performance both as an entrepreneur and as an employee causing patterns of under-earning and burnout. 

It's best if you listen to this episode while you are in a quiet place, undisturbed, with your journal handy as I will be leading you through a meditation to help you understand the fears and anxieties rooted in childhood that are affecting your financial health today. 

Together, we'll create a secure financial space for this inner child, dissolving fears and promoting abundance. 

I hope you get lots of insights from this episode! 

Here's to your unlimited abundance!


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~Podcast theme song by
The Jilted Irony

Speaker 1:

Hello, hello, welcome back to the Money Healing Podcast. This is your host, nadine Zalmot, a spiritual money mentor, trauma-informed, holistic money coach and all the funny young things. So today I am answering a question that came from one of you guys, one of the audience members, and it's a long question, but the gist of it is I am making good money, but I fear that the flow of money is going to end. So the actual long question was I feel like the money coming in is going to end. This leaves me feeling anxious about money and not able to live in the moment sometimes. How can I begin to change this pattern? So this is one of the most common things that people come to me for and, of course, it is something that I personally struggled with for a very long time, especially in early entrepreneurship. When income naturally goes up and down, that's normal. But because of my personal money wound, my sense of worth and well-being and happiness also went up and down as the money came in and out. It felt like I was held captive under the mercy of my clients, under the mercy of the algorithm and under the mercy of money. Money held my happiness and self-worth and freedom hostage and I was not okay with that. The money wound is such a critical wound to heal, whether you are an employee or a contractor, a consultant or an entrepreneur. Having a money wound as an entrepreneur will manifest as fear and anxiety, and that will impact your ability to be creative, your ability to problem-solve and your ability to create or have healthy boundaries around your time, your energy and even your finances. This fear will physiologically cut you off from your critical thinking brain and put you in a state of stress and survival all the freaking time. And why I say it physiologically cuts you off from the critical thinking brain is because when we look at how the nervous system works, when we are in stress, when we are in scarcity, when we are in survival or when our nervous system detects threat, it physiologically will cut us or cut the access to the critical thinking brain, because it needs all your faculties, all your energy and everything to be focused in surviving, in running away from the threat. Okay, so you do not have access to the critical thinking brain that is in charge of your creativity, your problem-solving and all the good stuff. So not only will it impact your business performance, it might end up becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy, impacting your income and, most importantly, your mental, spiritual, emotional and physical health. The money wound can also make you too scared of using money and investing in your growth and evolution of you and your business as an entrepreneur, which may lead to stagnation. If you are a 9-to-5er, if you're an employee, having a money wound can actually create this overworking and burnout cycle where you find yourself bending over backward to please your team and your boss, because you're scared that you'll get fired, or you're scared you're going to be replaced, and then you feel inadequate, because you always feel inadequate. So you keep bending over backward and when you come home, you don't have the energy to exist in the house. Therefore, you also end up bending over backward at home because you also feel emotionally unavailable and inadequate. So you end up overworking in your house, like overworking in your personal relationships, that is, which will end up feeling tired, resentful and hating life. I've been there. I've been there. No shame, no shame. I know all this very specifically because I've been there as an entrepreneur and I have been there as an employee and my clients have been there and there's no shame. Okay, you're here now and we're going to do something about this, because this episode is not just a podcast episode for entertainment. This is a masterclass. So imagine that you are on in a Zoom room with me and that we are actually doing this as a coaching session. Okay, because I'm going to be coaching you later on. So the reason why I love this question is because when I was working on this pattern within me, that is what took me deep, because at the time when I was looking for a solution, I was hiring coaches and I was working with mentors. All I found out there when it came to teaching on abundance because you're either going to learn about how to create financial structures or you're going to learn about abundance either like traditional finance or new age spirituality. But what I found in traditional finance was too restricting and I didn't need that at the time. I needed a little bit more spiritual teachings. But what I found was also still what's the word? Deficient? Because all I was taught was okay, just repeat these positive affirmations, uncover your beliefs and just like, keep repeating the opposite of that belief until you create these neural pathways and whatever. Like, come on, guys, like that didn't work for me. My nervous system is too intelligent for that and I believe yours is too. We cannot trick our nervous system into believing in new belief if we don't change our relationship to our core wounds that created that belief in the first place. A lot of people out there believe that the solution to their money issues that's another thing. They think that when they start making more money, that will be the solution to their financial anxiety, to their feeling of scarcity. So yes, to a certain extent, of course. Of course, if you are in a place in your life where money is, you know you can't, you're unable to get your basic needs covered, then of course more money is going to be helpful. But that's because money is great for financial security. But when what you need money for passes financial security, so your financial security levels are covered, and you need money to kind of make you feel worthy and happy and to take care of you, then I'm just going to tell you this from now More money is going to actually make your money wounds worse, because when it comes and it goes, so will your sense of well-being and happiness. So if you are waiting to make more money to feel better about yourself, then you're going to be very disappointed, my dear. I'm very sorry about this. So, as much as this sounds convoluted. Like I was saying, if you have a money wound, meaning you are waiting for money, mean having a money wound means that money is very activating on your nervous system, but also it means that you are waiting for something outside of you, like money to confirm your sense of worth and well-being and happiness and belonging and acceptance. Then more money is going to make it worse. Okay, again, not talking about getting your basic needs met. I'm talking about when you lean onto money as a crutch to outsource your sense of worth and well-being and even blaming money for your lack of emotional security and any low self-esteem. So if you are someone who is making good money, you're covering your basic needs and then some meaning that finally you are at a place where money is abundant, yet you still find yourself feeling scared and worried. Here is what you need to do. First, I want you to know something Know that abundance is your birthright. It is not a matter of believing deeply that you are abundant, like these airy fairy teachings would teach you. So if, for some reason, the money flow stops, first I just want you to know and understand this. This has nothing to do with how deeply you believe that you are worthy or abundant, because let me say this bluntly shit happens. The money may dry out. Yes, you might have months in your business where your income is lower than your expenses. Sometimes random surprise expenses might crop up. Sometimes you even make money mistakes. You hire people or you buy a program that's not the right fit for you, and if you're a nine of fiber, you're an employee. You're employer might do a restructure. These things are out of your hand. It happens, and sometimes we do find ourselves in financial underflow. Is that a word? We do find ourselves in a situation where money isn't flowing like it used to, because there is a lesson and wisdom behind that. So what I'm trying to say here is yes, shit will happen. It's not a matter of believing strongly. It is a matter of you leading yourself and who you want to be when this shit happens. You must have some form of contingency plan. You have to have a structure in place to cover the instances where money might get tight. And now that you are in overflow, I highly suggest that you start building that structure, and if you feel like the stream of money is going to dry up is not real, let's say that you just started a new job and you feel really secure in the job and you're making amazing money, but for no apparent reason, you are afraid that this goodness is going to stop. Or if you're an entrepreneur and you're making really good money and there's no evidence that this goodness is going to stop, then I am going to say that there is a money wound there, like if this feeling is unfounded, if it's just more of an emotional reflection, and if it's founded in fear and anxiety and scarcity, then it is robbing you from enjoying the present moment, it is robbing you from enjoying the money that you're making, it's robbing you from enjoying the abundance that you created and also, if you're an entrepreneur, it's robbing you from serving your clients from a place of self-confidence, from creativity and from emotional regulation. So this is what happens when you have a money wound right. So this tells me that money, regardless of its presence or its absence, is something that triggers you and causes you anxiety, and I would also venture out and say it is triggering a flight-freeze response within you, and we cannot always avoid our triggers, especially if we need this trigger to survive, just like money. So I'm just going to also say that breaking this pattern for good will take time, like if you're in your 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s imagine how much time this pattern has been working in your system, right, like? You will need a lot of time to break this pattern. So the short, honest answer is if you are feeling held back by this pattern, then, short answer do my program create fulfilling abundance? Because it is actually geared and designed specifically for this. But in the meantime, let me offer you a few tips to get you started off in the right direction, because I don't want you to get lost. If you're doing this journey solo, if you're doing a self-healing journey, I just want to say like, I tried it and it works. It just takes way longer than if you are guided, and also the quality and the depth of your healing journey is very greatly determined by the quality of the questions that you're asking and prompting yourself. So if you are using this healing method, like if you find a healing method that is well intended but it's not suited for you, it's not suited for this particular flavor of the wounding and from the base of the conditioning that you have, you might end up re-triggering your wounds around money and that might create unfavorable results for yourself. Because ultimately, we're here to enjoy life. We're here to serve others. We're here to just enjoy the abundance of life, regardless whether it's financial or not, and when we have this wound, it robs you from being in the present moment. So I'm going to share a thing with you here, and do it if it feels right for you. Remember that you know you best. Okay, so let us begin. This anxiety that you are feeling is most likely due to an event or a series of circumstances that happened in childhood that made you feel a lack, a sense of lack, a sense of lack of security, lack of worth, lack of belonging. So this event or series of circumstances made money mean more than just a piece of paper for you. So we are going to create this, we're going to create an exercise, we're going to work together right now to connect to the part of you that is young, that has gone through that specific event or series of circumstances that created this rupture in your sense of worth, security or belonging. And most likely, that part of you is between the ages of two and 12. Okay, because that is where all our beliefs about ourselves are solidified in our nervous system. So, if you are in a busy place and you are listening to this on the go. I recommend that you hit pause and come back to this when you have more time and more capacity and privacy, and if you are at home or if you're in a quiet place and you have the capacity, let's dive in. So, first of all, I would like to invite you to find somewhere cozy and comfortable and just sit down or lie down, whatever feels right for you. Allow your body to adjust and move around until you feel so, so, so yummy and comfortable where you're at Now. I invite you to close your eyes, if that's right for you, and connect with your body, and then, after taking a few calming breaths in and out, I would like for you to ask that part of you that is scared, that is anxious to come out, to come and connect with you here. Notice where you feel that scared part in your body and just feel into it for a few seconds, if it's all right with you. Feel into that scared part. Where do you connect with that part in your body? A lot of times, my clients connect with that part in their shoulders. I connect with that part near my heart, sometimes in my solar plexus area. So, wherever that is, just connect with that part and communicate with that part that you are not here to judge them or force them to be strong or discipline them in any way. You're just here to be with them, to understand them, to talk with them, possibly even for the first time and if you're someone that has done a lot of inner child work, this still could be the very first time you connect with that particular younger part to talk about a scary subject like money. So, go slow and when you're feeling comfortable with that younger part of you, I would like to invite you to ask them what are their thoughts about all the money that you've been making and creating? What is their opinion? Are they happy with this? Or maybe it makes them feel scared? Does it make them feel seen, loved and appreciated? Does it make them so happy and relieved that they're scared of it going away? Just sit with that part and sit with these questions and observe what's happening within you, knowing that it's not crazy to talk to different parts of you. We all have different parts and this is normal. Every part, even your younger part, holds a lot of wisdom, a lot of good intentions, even if it seems like they're sabotaging you. So connect with that younger part, see what it has to say about all the money that you've been making and see if there's something that you can do for it to help it trust you. Now I would like for you to invite present adult you into the picture, just in your mind's eye. Picture that younger version of you that you're addressing and then picture yourself as you are now, or maybe even an older version of you that comes into the picture and introduce the adult version of you to younger you. Tell the younger version of you how old you actually are and that you are actually really cool and you have created so much awesome things in your life so far and you are the one to create this awesome abundance. And now I'd like to invite you to tell that younger part how you intend to create financial security for them and tell them how you're going to do that and ask them if there's anything that they want to tell you about this. And for now, thank them, say thank you and let them know that this is going to happen again. You will be visiting them again. Now you can just come back to the room, open your eyes and know that if you are feeling anxious for no apparent reason, especially in the situation where you know that you should be happy. Instead, know that your younger part has taken over the steering wheel and we don't want them to drive. We want you to drive because that younger part is just too young to drive. They have kiddie jobs to do. They are their children. It's not their job or responsibility to keep you financially safe. This has helped me a lot. This has helped me and dozens of other clients dissolve their fear around money and the fear around the flow from stopping no-transcript. I just want to say that remember that this is a practice. Remember that you won't solve your money anxiety by doing this once or twice. You need to be doing this on a regular basis because these younger parts they need attunement, they need consistency and they need to start trusting you. Okay, so I hope this was helpful for you. Please send me a message and let me know if you try to do this and what came up for you and how was it? Yeah, that interaction. How did the interaction go with your younger part? And if this felt weird or strange to do or it felt like it was too much for you to do on your own, then I invite you to send me a message and let me know how I can help you in other ways. I send you lots of love and wishing you all the best. See you next time. Bye, for now. You.

Overcoming Fear and Anxiety Around Money
Healing Money Wounds Through Inner Child