The Money Healing Podcast

#22: Releasing Money Shame

June 08, 2023 Nadine Zumot Season 1 Episode 22
The Money Healing Podcast
#22: Releasing Money Shame
Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

Do you ever feel weighed down by money shame, and struggle to break free from its grip on your life? 

Join me, your host Nadine Zumot, as we dive into the importance of a trauma-informed approach to money education and discover how sharing our money stories can be the first step towards healing and freedom.

In today's episode, we'll explore:

  •  The roots of our money shame as individuals and as a collective.
  • How to move through your money shame and break free from unwanted habits. I'll will be providing you with practical strategies sprinkled in throughout this episode. 

So join me, and let's start healing our money wounds to create an abundant life that fulfills our souls.


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Speaker 1:

Hello and welcome to the Money Healing Podcast. This episode is about releasing money shame. Hello and welcome to the Money Healing Podcast. I am your host, nidhi and Zalmot, ushering in a money healing movement through this show, my 101 Coaching, my programs, my Instagram and everything that I do. My mission in life is to help you transform your life through money healing so you can create abundance not just any abundance, but the yummy, fulfilling kind that enriches your life and fulfills your soul. Follow me on Nadine Zalmot on Instagram, n-a-d-i-n-e-z-u-m-o-t, and subscribe to this podcast to get your weekly dose of empowering content that offers a new and fresh perspective on money and practical guidance on how to start healing your money wounds to transform your reality today. Hello, everyone, welcome back. So today's episode theme is about money shame, and the reason why I wanted to dive into this topic today is because what I often find with my one-on-one clients and in my group programs and everything that I do always starts with a thick layer of money shame. This layer is not like the shell on a soft boiled egg. It's not like you can just like whack it and crack it all out in the one in the same, like beat. The thickness of this layer depends on your story. My money shame was laid on very thick like an ostrich egg. Money is still a taboo subject. It's getting normalized. But the thing is, with the widespread teachings that are out there, they're not holistic, they are not trauma sensitive. Even if they say that they can customize your money plan for you, if it's not informed by your money wounds and if it's not supportive of your healing, then it will just not stick for you. Ask me, i've been there, done that, got the t-shirt. So here's the thing these programs are not evil. They can actually work. They work for some people. Some of these programs are great. However, if you become activated and go into fight or flight, you will not be able to fully embrace what you are being taught on. Because when you're in a state of nervous system activation which, if we're talking about money, if money activates your nervous system, it's a sign of a money wound when you are in a state of activation, you will not have access to your logical brain Meaning throughout the whole program. You won't be able to get your money's worth. You won't be able to understand and absorb and embody and allow the transformation that the program is promising you And I talk about this in detail about why, when your nervous system gets activated, you no longer have access to your logical thinking brain In episode 12 of this podcast, and it's called why money scares the shit out of you. So when you're in a trauma informed container, especially when something as sensitive and triggering as money is being taught, you need to be given the tools and the support to bring you back to safety. Only this way you will be able to receive the information and the teachings. It's when you're in safety, because the sooner you do the money work, the sooner money will no longer be this heavy shadow that follows you everywhere you go, looming over you, spoiling your fun, precious moments, making you choose the cheapest thing on the menu or making you wonder if you can either afford rent or skincare this month. Or, let me put it in a brighter way The sooner you heal your money wounds, the sooner you will get to taste your first pistachio gelato in Rome Yum. Or the sooner you heal, the sooner you can leave your stale job or get that breath work or yoga certification that you've been wanting. It's not like you need to be healed to do these things. I'm not saying that at all. It's just that your money wounds will manifest themselves in unwanted habits And these unwanted habits can be in the way between you and the goals that you want. And I want everything for you. I want you to have a life that, just like you wake up and you go is this my life? Pinch me Honestly. It's possible for you because it's possible for me, and you know my story, and there's something that I get mixed comments about. I often get asked this Well, nadine, aren't you the coach? Aren't you like the money queen? Aren't you supposed to position yourself as the expert millionaire that is covered in bling and living her best life? However, on the other hand, my clients they love how real and raw I am and how I just don't care about the way things appear on social media, because I'm living my best life and if it doesn't look as glamorous, because the thing is conveying the real me is part of the healing And when you're in my paid containers or my Instagram or on this podcast, you will always get the real me. And here's why, when I became well, actually the real why is because I don't know how to fake it. That's something I am notorious about ever since I was young. I don't know how to fake it. Truth. Just you know, you could just read the truth through my eyes and I don't lie. So but here's another professional reason When I became a money coach, i took a vow to never do harm and I believe that painting a perfect picture of myself will create harm. The world needs realness right now and I will continue to create and perpetuate harm if I don't lead by example To shift the money narrative. In our community, in our collective, we have to have open, candid conversations about money and finances. This is why I don't emphasize on the glamorous post-traumatic growth lifestyle that I'm living. Because it is glamorous, it is amazing. I don't often share about it because I want you to see that in realness and rawness. This is the conversation that needs to happen. Of course I share parts of my life and all of this, and part of it is because I like to get people into my world and know who I am and I just love to share and also to give you that vision of what's possible for you. But most of my conversation is about the real stuff. My mission here is to help advance the transformation of the human race. I know this sounds really dramatic, but by helping 10, 100 people. Actually, i just realized that I coached my 93rd person yesterday. Isn't that cool. Is it 93 or 94? Isn't that awesome. Just by helping 94 people just from starting my business, i am helping in that transformation because it's one person at a time That will change the collective. And money keeps us small and keeps us stuck as individuals and as collectives. That is why it is my utmost duty to start the honest conversation. My openness and honesty about my story will help normalize your story. Our stories, when shared openly with the intention of healing, they become catalysts that heal money shame, and I share my story coming from extreme scarcity, to show you that if my money wounds can be healed, any money wounds can be healed, because I was very, very stuck and I shared openly about my story. I think it was episode one. Who the fuck is Nadine Zarmal? So go check it out if you haven't. And here's the thing What really helped me heal is community, is honesty. Healing takes place in community. Healing happens when we bring things out into the open. Think about our ancestors, think about them just gathering around the fire instead of around the TV and just sharing stories, and that is healing. This is how healing happens. Bernay Brown says, shame lives in shadow. In vulnerability we find healing, and this is why I ended up adding a group coaching container to my programs and together we found how, when we speak openly about our money stuff, we start dissolving and healing this tough layer of shame. And this is my commitment It's to lead by example. Starting with sharing openly here on this podcast is my first, you know my first layer of who I am and what I represent. And here's the other thing y'all Money wounds are universal. Your specific story can be different, but the struggles are all the same. So ever since I started this podcast in end of or mid December, it was called something else, it was called Beyond the Fear and a few weeks ago it changed to the Money Healing podcast. Anyway, so ever since I started this podcast in December of 2022, which is last year I have connected with so many listeners. It was either through booking one-on-one sessions with me or just through email or Instagram, and the thing is they have come from Sweden, from Germany, from Switzerland, from Portugal, from Oman, from all over the US, who straight up told me we heard our own story when you shared yours on the first episode, hearing your own story spoken and experienced through another person is immensely healing. Healing begins with sharing. Unshaming begins with bringing things into the light so they no longer have a hold or a power over us. The act of sharing our truth will help you. Alchemy shame. It builds compassion and it will help you become more connected with yourself. So my first ask of you today is to find someone you feel safe with and share a part of your money story with them. Or, if this feels too much for now, it's okay. Share your story with yourself inside of a journal or through a drawing or through poetry. Let it out. Let it out in a way that feels right for you, and do this often. Don't just do this once and leave it. Do this often. This is shame healing. This is shadow work, and think about this practice as a way or a ritual to build what we call financial fidelity with yourself. Gradually, as you feel safer, you will begin getting very honest with yourself about your numbers, your fears, your beliefs, even your debt, and the wounding that's behind everything, behind the shame. Doing this will, slowly but surely, help you create self-trust when it comes to money. And here's the thing y'all Your money shame is actually not yours. I have found this to be true and accurate in my coaching containers. This is something that was hammered into us while we were getting certified in the trauma of money method. Your money shame is not yours. A lot of your money shame has to do with the way money was talked about in your family of origin, the way your parents or your guardians managed and felt about it, the cultural and economic societal circumstances in which you grew up in. It is multi-layered, but this shit's not yours. Nothing wrong with you. If you have money wounds and money shame, okay, it's not yours and there's nothing wrong with you. However, it is your responsibility to heal your money wounds and heal the shame so that, first and foremost, you you live unburdened by them, so you can live freely, so you can live large and in fucking charge. Your soul came here to have a great life. We can't let this human-made energy diminish you And this is not a motivational bullshit pep talk. Of course I know it's not that easy to let it go. Of course I know you don't just like breathe it out and it's gone. I have helped people who have come to me after trying everything with their money. They feel hopeless and unfortunately, i'm sorry to say that they feel unfixable. Cracking that layer of money shame has been such a relief because underneath that layer is their true selves, their own frickin power. You are here to experience joy and desire things and make these desires a reality. I was looking through my onboarding forms for my one-on-one clients throughout the years and I actually found that there's one word that kept on repeating when the question of what is your dream outcome from working with me one-on-one, there's one word like there's a bunch of words, of course, but there's one word that kept on repeating with pretty much like 90% of my clients, and it's to experience joy. How pure is that word? Joy. Joy is the opposite of trauma. Joy is the opposite of pain. Joy brings you back to your, to your, the essence of your childhood, of curiosity, of just being plainly you just like, just you, enjoying your own company, being curious about nature, being curious about the roses, about the insects and the bugs and whatever is happening, and asking questions. That is pure joy, and joy comes from safety. Y'all Fear, shame, guilt, regret, obsession, hypervigilance with money are nothing to be ashamed of. They are just signs of money wounds, which only means you will do better by doing some deeper work. If you fall off a bike and scratch your knee, would you feel ashamed if it bled? Would it mean that you're a loser or that there's something wrong with you if you had to go and get a couple of stitches? or would it just mean that you care about yourself? This is exactly what this is. Some money wounds are just a scratch. They're good with a bandaid and then they're gone. You know what I mean by that is like good with a strategy, good with some mindset work, all gone. But some money wounds are a little bit deeper. They're like a gash. They need a little bit more tender, love and care and some expert perspective and guidance. So here is how you can move through money, shame and anxiety. Writing forgiveness letters is awesome. I've got clients that have written letters to their mothers, to their fathers, to their children. You don't have to send that letter. You can burn the letter, you can keep the letter, but just writing it is just a very beautiful act of just letting it go, letting it out. And here's another fun thing write a letter to money. I have a template with really cool prompts, so DM me if you want it or send me an email. I'll be happy to just send it to you. Doing mindfulness practices to help you cope. Ps. All these things, including mindfulness, does not heal trauma. They just help you slow down and remind you that you have options in the moment So you can start acting from a place of logic and empowerment and intention, not from a place of reaction. Journaling, drawing, dancing anything that gives space for your feelings is great. Getting in touch with your inner child is fucking amazing. You're all like when it comes to money. People keep telling me this like how did you make this connection? It's because of my deep money wounds. There is a connection between your inner child and the feeling of safety that money gives you. Connect with your inner child. Go and find an inner child meditation online and do it. Start having healthy money conversations with your partner, with your best friend, but, of course, only if it feels safe for you. Talking to your parents if they're still around about their own money stories and history is going to be fantastic again if it feels safe. It was really helpful for me when I was able to ask my money, my money, my mother a few questions about her own money story. It shed a lot of light on what was going on and gave me a lot of perspective, so that's a fun little thing that you can do. It also will make your parents feel like human beings, you know. So of course you can book a session with me if you feel called to. I will leave my links in the show notes And just before I go, i have had a few people contact me about a quick announcement that I made last episode. I was talking about a new program that I'm launching sometime in July. It's called create fulfilling abundance. I spoke briefly about it and I had a few people reach out. So just DM me or email me if you're interested And if you want to know the details so that I can make sure to let you know as soon as it goes live, so that you can take advantage of the early bird pricing. With this, i love you with all my heart And I hope this was valuable. I hope this was helpful for you And I'm sending you all the love all the way from here In Albuquerque, new Mexico. Don't forget to smell the roses, send new loves of love. Bye for now. See you next week, yeah.

Releasing Money Shame
Healing Money Shame and Anxiety